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Thread: Danger of synthetic oil...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Glen Huon, Tasmania, Australia
    Posts
    1,665

    Default Danger of synthetic oil...

    Beware of synthetic oil! It can do terrible things to you and your beloved motorcycle. It will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can put it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also will make every part of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground! But that’s not all...

    Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. It will also splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of a turn and she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic oil coats your sight window and your timing window with a whitish pro-emulsification additive that is both non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will completely leak onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and die.

    Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It will give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on and then jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your gasoline causing your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars. It will make it rain during rallies and on weekends. It will lubricate four timing belts causing them to jump teeth and break your valves to bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes the clearances to change every six miles. Then it melts the black soles of your riding boots night before you walk across your new carpeting.

    While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack, your studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your warranty by changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It also dries out your wetclutch and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch slave cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an angry wasp in your helmet for good measure.

    Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your gloves shrink two sizes night before trackday. Synthetic oil stole your neutral and sold it to the Chinese for £1.25. Synthetic oil will make you grow a tail. Synthetic oil will write long crazy e-mails to your Internet friends and then sign your name at the bottom!

    Hope this helps...

    Cheers,

    JQ.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Vienna, Virginia, USA
    Posts
    5,254

    Default

    Not only that - they should give you a free sample of Viagra with each quart of synthetic oil
    2010 R1200GS - "Sieglinde"
    Sieglinde is clairvoyant . . . her existence is the poignant will to fight, to strive towards happiness.
    http://ring.mithec.com/eng/whosieglinde.html

    Use My Smugmug Coupon For A Discount: mWX869bp4NSms
    Quote Originally Posted by Wild Will

    Bully for you, Bob. You're almost as lucky as Dean!
    __________________

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Palm Coast, Florida
    Posts
    1,728

    Cool

    Bob, Bob, Bob what can we do with you now. You know quite well that one never needs Viagra if they have Mobil One - 15/50. Yes I know, it does cost a bit more than the pills pound for pound, but look at what you get: The main advantage to me is that Mobil One can be used for at least two distinctly different operations - engine oil and sexual enhancement. Viagra on the other hand can only be used for the second.

    Sad is the biker who is taking a long trip via "motor wheel" and finds out too late that he only has Viagra with him.

    Stinkin' Frank

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Willow Park, TX
    Posts
    6,159

    Default

    And, buying cheap Rotella T Synth at WalMart only helps to bury the economy. Get spendy you cheapskates!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    1,308

    Default

    Hey, thanks for reminding me... I need to click onto GPM's Amsoil link and order some Severe Gear 75W-140...


    .
    Motorcyclist Cafe, Be There or Be Nowhere!

    The Heritage Foundation
    www.heritage.org

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Canyon,Texas
    Posts
    10,641

    Default

    I have just concluded a Government -Subsidized study that proves,beyond any doubt,that Synthetic Oil will cause your fuel petcock to turn itself to the OFF position,and Your bike to die,usually in front of nubile Young Ladies.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Vienna, Virginia, USA
    Posts
    5,254

    Default

    "petcock"

    Try talking about that in church!
    2010 R1200GS - "Sieglinde"
    Sieglinde is clairvoyant . . . her existence is the poignant will to fight, to strive towards happiness.
    http://ring.mithec.com/eng/whosieglinde.html

    Use My Smugmug Coupon For A Discount: mWX869bp4NSms
    Quote Originally Posted by Wild Will

    Bully for you, Bob. You're almost as lucky as Dean!
    __________________

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Chandler, AZ
    Posts
    2,045

    Default

    I used to have a petcock, but I was much younger then.....
    Harry

    Triumph Rocket 3 Touring
    141 HP 149 Ft Lbs Torque







  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Reading, PA
    Posts
    2,222

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BobFV1 View Post
    "petcock"

    Try talking about that in church!
    It's only a problem if someone asks to pet it.
    Jeremy

    At present, bikeless.

    Be mixed,
    Be stirred.
    With vigor,
    With thinner!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Canyon,Texas
    Posts
    10,641

    Default

    I meant to say Fuel Tap...

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