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GPM
12-03-2009, 06:49 PM
Author: Joseph Lucas

All electrical components and wiring harnesses depend on proper
circuit functioning, which is the transmission of charged ions by
retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke".
Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. Don't be
fooled by scientists and engineers talking about excited electrons
and the like. Smoke is the key to all things electrical

We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of
an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified
repeatedly through empirical testing. For example, if one places a
large copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious
quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to
function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an
electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also
be observed that the component no longer functions.
The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another.
When the wiring harness springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works right afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for
some time largely because they regularly released large quantities of
smoke from the electrical system.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly
more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or
American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas
is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil,
British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks, and disk brake systems leak
fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national
defense secrets.

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak
smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
Sometimes you may miss the component releasing the smoke that makes
your electrical system function correctly, but if you sniff around
you can often find the faulty component by the undeniable and
telltale smoke smell. Sometimes this is a better indicator than
standard electrical tests performed with a volt-ohm meter.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy
in the form of smoke provides a clear and logical explanation of the
mysteries of electrical components and why they fail.

isiahstites
12-03-2009, 06:56 PM
Good one Harry!

I have seen my boss smoke quite a few times and he has never been the same.........

DarthRider
12-03-2009, 11:00 PM
Si is going to love this!:biggrinbounce2:

Donson
12-04-2009, 09:53 AM
MY old Triumph Trophy 250 was equipped with that electrical system.Apparently the lubrication system operates in a similar manner.

GPM
12-04-2009, 11:12 AM
For anyone who has suffered a catastrophic loss of smoke...


http://www3.telus.net/bc_triumph_registry/smoke.htm


Be sure and read through the comments.

Donson
12-04-2009, 11:38 AM
It is wise to assure that the Zener Diode is in the clean air,to assure that the smoke stays cool.:)

DarthRider
12-04-2009, 11:50 AM
Better & better, wot a hoot!

A few gems:
Q: Is this the type of smoke one would use to blow up someone's ass? If so I'll bid. I'm running low.
A: It seems the British motor trade did that for decades, so this must be the same stuff.

(Quoted at great risk:)
Q: This has been a most informative thread which set me off thinking about wider global environmental changes that have happened since the mid 70's. Could it be that the copious release of smoke from Lucas wiring looms around that time has significantly contributed to the holes in the ozone layer and the onset of global warming? Could it be that, had your excellent device been more available at that time, we could have saved the planet for future generations instead of fighting a rear guard action? Hindsight is such a wonderful thing isn't it.
A: Hey- This is a serious site- we're not discussing "junk science" like Global Climate Change!

Q: I'm afraid you've become trapped in a classic Joseph Heller conundrum. You assert that this is an authentic Lucas part and offer substantial testimony that it works and is effective in many applications. It would seem impossible that it could work and also be a genuine Lucas product.
A: This is known as the Nuffield Paradox. It can't be helped. It is the reason BL finally adopted a clenching sphincter as their corporate logo.

Q: Not a question, but more of a general comment vouching for the capacity of this unit. I had a college roommate who kept one of these contraptions under his bed in our dorm room and with the help of a Pink Floyd album and a well placed window fan we were able to "replace" smoke for days...man.
A: Another endorsement!


A proper gentleman does not go motoring about after dark.
- Sir Joseph Lucas, MBE

Rchop
12-04-2009, 12:43 PM
Great stuff Harry:webers: