LSFW - Where's our Aussie contingent?

[Promethean]

I haven't seen them post for a while.....Boxerboy, Marko et al.

[BobFV1]

Perhaps they are out observing the local wildlife....

http://www.shafted.com.au/photos/albums/funnies/a/normal_Animal%20Sex%20(Kangaroo%20Feeding).jpg

[DJ Down Under]

I know Boxerboy views the site daily...I spoke to marko not long ago..he's been very busy with work..he emailed me yesterday to set up a big ride.

DJ

[Boxerboy]

DJ and I have been trying our darndest to get out for a ride but work, sickness and ice on roads has kept us in.
We're here, just hibernating a little at present.

[BobFV1]

http://www.llamaleisure.com.au/sexinthepaddockmating02.jpg

[jamming]

Do ya think he bought her a drink first?:104:

Roger

[BobFV1]

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2004/03/05/503ww2,0.jpg

[BobFV1]

http://www.weirdspot.com/images/uploads/orangepenis.jpg

[HiOSilver]

Bob, what kind of web sites do you frequent? :087: :087: :087: :087:

[jamming]

There once was a man from Boes
Whose rod hung down to his toes
He tied it up straight
But lo to his fate
He now pees up his nose

Roger

[DarthRider]

There was an old woman from Cape Cod,
who thought all children were made by God.
But it wasn't the Almighty who lifted her nighty,
it was Roger the lodger, By God!

Take *that*, Jamster!

[jamming]

:eusa_clap: :eusa_clap: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol:

Guilty as charged!

Rog

[Tassie Devil]

There was a young chappie from Kent,
Whose organ was horribly bent...
To save him some trouble...he put in in double
But instead of coming.. he went.:icon_redface:

Cheers,

JQ

[DarthRider]

There was an old man from Boston,
who traded his Ford for an Austin.
He had room for his ass and a gallon o' gas,
but his balls hung out and he lost 'em!:003:

[marko]

Still here and while it is our winter and not much riding going on, there should be no excuse for not posting. Just don't seem to have had much time lately.
Managed to pop into our local dealer last weekend though and drool over the latest R1200S. All black, including the heads and it looked marvellous.

I look forward to the summer ride reports from the northern hemisphere.
Enjoy the summer.

[BobFV1]

http://www.londonstimes.us/toons/cartoons/Bennett_shrimponbarbie.jpg

[Tassie Devil]

Hey!!
I represent that last remark....

JQ.

[BobFV1]

http://bikes.grandprix.com.au/var/agpc_bikes/storage/images-versioned/2799/1-eng-AU/pitt_tells_revellers_to_not_be_bloody_idiots_00011 .jpg

[DJ Down Under]

Great pic of Andrew Pitt..taken a few years ago while racing supersport..(he became world champ)..it was great to see him win the world supa bike race last week.

DJ

[Tassie Devil]

How tough are men?
The scene is set, a dark night, cold wind blowing, campfire flickering, stars twinkling in the dark sky.
Three hang-glider pilots sitting by the campfire, one from Australia, one from South Ifrika and one from New Zulland. Each embroiled in the bravado for which they are famous. The night of tales begins...
Kiven the Kiwi says, "I must be the meanest, toughest, heng glider there es. Why, jist the other day I linded in a field and scared a crocodeale, who came out of the swamp and ate sux min who were standen close by. I grebbed the crocodeale and wristled him to du ground and killed em with my beer hends"
Alan from South Africa who typically can't stand to be bettered said, "Well you guys, I lended orfter a 200 mile flight in my heng glider on a tiny trail, and a Namibian snike slid out from under a rock and made a move on me. I grebbed de borsted with me bare hinds and beet it's head off ind then sucked the poison from it's body down in one gulp. End I'm still here today"
Terry, the Aussie remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his penis.

Cheers,

JQ

[DJ Down Under]

:eusa_clap: :eusa_clap: :eusa_clap: :eusa_clap: :eusa_clap:

DJ

[popgazer]

This one was posted on the Humor thread. Pretty funny:

-------------------------------------------------------

Three Aussie guys were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Kevin.
Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."
Kevin says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Fosters.
Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Kev?"
"Steve's wife gave it to me,"

Bruce replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"
"Well not exactly," Kevin said. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'.

She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.'

And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Fosters you are'."

[popgazer]

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asked, "And what are those"?

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?

[Boxerboy]

http://justin.justnet.com.au/oz/australiana/

Have a go at interpretin' this one lads! :eusa_clap: :)
Enjoy. ozzies love it.

Sittin' at home last Sunday mornin' me mate Boomerrang Said he was havin' a few people around for a barbie, Said he might Kookaburra or two.

I said, "Sounds great, will Wallaby there?"

He said "Yeah and Vegemite come too".

So I said to the wife "Do you wanna Goanna?". She said "I'll go if Dingos".

So I said "Wattle we do about Nulla?"

He said "Nullabors me to tears, leave him at home."

Boomerang (Aboriginal weapon) (Barbie - Australian slang for barbeque) (Kookaburra - Australian bird) (Wallaby - Australian animal) (Vegemite - Australian food product) (Goanna - Australian lizard) (Dingo - Australian wild dog) (Nullabour - Highway through the outback of Australia)

We got to the party about two and walked straight out the kitchen to put some booze in the fridge. And you wouldn't believe it, there's Boomer's wife Warra sittin there tryin to Platypus!

Now, I don't like to speak Illawarra, but I was shocked, I mean how much can a Koala bear.

So I grabbed a beer, flashed me Wangarratta and went out and joined the party.

(Booze - slang for alcohol) (Platypus - fresh-water animal) (Illawarra - A region in southern Australia) (Wangaratta - Australian town)

Pretty soon Ayers Rocks in and things really started jumpin'. This Indian girl, Marsu, turns up, dying to go to the toilet but she couldn't find it. I said to me mate Al, "Hey, where can Marsupial?" He said "She can go outback with the fellas, she's probably seen a cockatoo".

(Ayres Rock - that big rock in the middle of Australia) (Marsupial - pouched mammals, e.g. kangaroos, bandicoots, wombats) (Cockatoo - Australian bird)

Well just then Warra comes out of the kitchen with a few drinks for everybody. Fairdinkum, you've never seen a Coolabah maid. I grabbed a beer and said, "Thanks Warra - tah".

(Coolabah - Australian tree) (Warratah - Australian bush)

A couple of Queensland at the party, one smellin' pretty strongly of aftershave. One of 'em sat down next to me and I turned to him and I said, "Ya know mate, Eureka Stockade!"

(Queensland - Australian State) (Eureka Stockade - the site of a civial revolt in the 1800's) (Eureka - translating to 'You reek a" - meaning you really stink).

It was a really hot day; Oscar felt like a swim. He said to Ina, "Do you want a have a dip in the Riverina?" She said "I haven't got my Kosciusko".

Well Bo says, "Come in starkers, Wattle they care!" Ina says "What, without so much as a Thredbo?" Ah, Perisher thought! Has Eucumbine in yet?

(Riverina - an area in southern Australia known for fruit orchards) (Kosi - meaning cosi - slang for swimming costume) (Kosciousko - a mountain in the Australian snow fields; highest peak in Australia) (Wattle - Native Australian tree) (Thredbo - Ski Resort in southern Australia) (Perisher - another ski resort near Thredbo) (Eucumbene - a lake in Australia)

Well a few of the blokes decided to play some cricket. Boomer says "Why doesn't Wombat?" "Yeah, and let Tenterfield".

He said I should have a bowl but I was too out of it to play cricket so I suggested a game of cards. I said to Lyptus "Wanna game of Eucalyptus?" He said "There's no point mate, Darwins everytime."

(Wombat - Australian animal) (Tenterfield - Australian town) (Euca - card game) (Eucalyptus - Australian tree koala's live in) (Darwin - Capital of the Northern Territory - territory of Australia)

Well Bill said he'd like a smoke. Nobody knew where the dope was stashed. I said "I think Merinos." But I was just spinning a bit of a yarn. Barry pulls a joint out of his pocket. Bill says "Great, Barrier Reefer, what is it mate?" "Noosa Heads of course. Me mate Adelaide 'em on me." And it was a great joint too, Blue Mountains away and his Three Sisters.

(Merino - Australian sheep) (Great Barrier Reef - The famous coral reef running down the coast of Queensland) (Adelaide - capital of South Australia) (Noosa Heads - a seaside resort in Queensland) (Blue Mountains - Mountain range outside Sydney) (Three Sisters - Landmark in the Blue Mountains, 3 pinnacle rocks)

Well I thought I'd roll one meself, I said "Chuck us the Tally Hobart". He said "They're out on the Laun, Ceston, can you get em for us?" Burnie says "Its okay mate, she's apples, I'll get em for ya"

(Tally Ho - Cigarette papers) (Hobart - Capital of Tasmania - Australian State) (Launceston - city in Tasmania) (Burnie - city in Tasmania) (Apples - one of the main export products of Tasmania)

Just then Alice Springs into action, starts to pack Billabong. And you wouldn't believe it, the bongs broken. I said "Lord Howe!"

"Hay-man" somebody says "Will a Didgeridoo?" I said "Hummmmm mummmm mummmmm mummmmm maybe it'll have ta."

(Alice Springs - capital city of the Northern Territory - near Uluru / Ayers Rock) (Billabong - water hole in the outback) (Lord Howe - Australian owned island off the east coast of Australia) (Hayman - Australian island on the Great Barrier Reef) (Didgerdoo - Aboriginal musical instrument) (Hummmm mummmmmm mummmmmm - sound the didgerdoo makes - long droning sound)

I look in the corner and there's Bass sittin there, not getting into it, not getting out of it, I said "What, is Bass Strait or somthin?" Boomer says "As a matter a fact mate, he's a cop" I said "Ya jokin mate, a cop, I'm getting outta here, lets Goanna." She said "No way, I'm hangin round till Gum leaves. Besides, I dont wanna leave Jacardanda party on his own. Have you seen him? I think he's trying to crack on Toowoomba, he's already tried to Mount Isa And he'll definitely try to lead you Australiana!"

[BobFV1]

http://www.inl.org/bicycle/tasmania/day0/kookoobura.jpg

[Boxerboy]

Kookoobura???

:)

[BobFV1]

http://library.thinkquest.org/5053/Australia/Platypus_J01.jpg

[Promethean]

Ooooh! Ooooh! I know this one....:flamin_dj:

PLATYPUS.

[BobFV1]

http://beachpalacehotel.com.au/images/steve%20irwin%202.JPG

[supermotoC]

I know!! I got this one....

this is an "IDJIT"!

http://beachpalacehotel.com.au/images/steve%20irwin%202.JPG

[Promethean]

Steve Irwin. I cheated. :icon_redface:

[Boxerboy]

Steve Irwin. I cheated. :icon_redface:


No, Supermoto got it right!:eusa_clap:

[BobFV1]

http://www.celebsinc.com/pictures/KylieMinogue/nude/kylie_minogue_002.jpg

[Promethean]

Oh! Bob.....come on....this one's dead easy. That's Kylie Minogue.....the girl from the Neighbours show.

[BobFV1]

http://www.bikiniaustralia.com/images/aussie-girls.jpg

[Promethean]

This one's a little tougher....Bondi beach?

[BobFV1]

http://www.bikiniaustralia.com/

http://www.bikiniaustralia.com/preview/2006/07/Aubrey010/Aubrey010_003.jpg